Stop clarifying what you hate about yourself because it makes me hate myself

Why do we feel like we have to justify ourselves the whole time. “Yes I posted a photo in my bikini but don’t worry, I still hate my legs/bum/tum/all of the above”. It’s like we’re so worried that people might think we’re actually alright with ourselves that we have to make sure they’re in no doubt that we do in fact have our own demons. Is it to fit in? because we live in a society that makes it so hard to love ourselves that we’re scared to admit that we don’t actually, completely, totally hate ourselves because it will put us in the minority and make us “unrelatable to our followers”? or is it exactly that – we live in a society that makes it so hard to love ourselves, that we purposefully sought out all our flaws and mention them before anyone else has the chance to? That we don’t feel worthy of love or appreciation and that being happy with ourselves is something so completely alien to us that we don’t even notice we’re doing it? It’s probably a mixture of both to be honest.

But answer me this: if you read a caption of a photo that goes along the lines of the above, how does it make you feel? Does it make you feel sympathetic towards the poster? Does it make you feel less alone? Maybe. But aren’t you also sitting there mentally analysing your own flaws as you write a comment to say “no way honey, you’re perfect”? & even if your comment is 100% genuine, do you think it will feel genuine to the poster? Probably not. They’ll probably think “well she can talk because her thighs are great/her belly is flat/etc.” Please tell me who is winning by encouraging this cycle of hate?! Suddenly, a harmless photo that you liked in the beginning, that’s meant to carry a message of body positivity, that (let’s be honest) you probably felt guilty about liking in the first place because come on! It’s you in your bikini! How dare you like it?! It’s become a tool that people use to make themselves feel worthless and now it’s making you doubt yourself. Wouldn’t it be better, more inspiring, more uplifting if we just posted what the hell we wanted without feeling the need to justify our flaws. If we can post a photo WE like without having to comment on our own weight/size/flab, if we do that, aren’t we just encouraging those voices in our head (you know the ones, the ones that tell us we’re not good enough, not pretty enough, not tanned enough…) aren’t we encouraging them to criticise, giving them permission to rip us to shreds? We’re not jumping ahead of the negativity, we’re not “embracing” the negativity. By mentioning it, we’re CREATING the negativity.

I am ALL for body positivity & celebrating people of all shapes and sizes, we are more than just the way we look, but let’s show our pride for our bodies but NOT mentioning them. Let those voices die away and just accept who we are. Post that god damn bikini photo, no explanation or justification needed coz you are a QUEEN honey & posting that photo with no words relating to your size/body confidence is more powerful than a caption could ever be!

Think about it.. how does each of these posts make you feel?

Love, Anna x

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